Your big day is coming up and you are looking forward to shine and release your inner princess with the dress you have always dreamed of. You go from boutique to boutique, collect inspiration from magazines, shows and the internet.
You are about to burst of joy and excitement to finally try on THE dress and you want to share these feelings and emotions with the closest person around you, your mom. She has been there for you every step of the way, cradling you as a baby, helping you with your first steps, comforting you through heartbreak, etc. It is only fair that you want her to be there when you pick out the dress of your dreams but be aware that the mood may shift!
As a mother, she has also been your hardest and most honest critic. Here are a few things a mother of the bride should never say while wedding dress shopping. Slip her this little note and tell her that her help is very much appreciated but that she should restrain from saying these things for both of your sake.
1. Tears in Her Eyes
We all know the scenes from the movies, a young woman tries on her dress, steps out of the fitting room and her mother bursts into tears. As touching as this might be, it should not determine if you have found the one dress or not. Sentences like “that dress does not make me cry, look for another one” can be blown out of the room immediately because you, as the bride, are the one who decides if the dress is right.
2. Her Style, Your Style
I am sure that at least once we have heard our mothers say something along the lines of “you would look nicer in this or that”. Although this might be true for her sense of style, it does not mean the same goes for you. It is your big wedding day and you should choose a dress that fits your taste. What you can do is go out of your comfort zone and try on a variety of dresses and styles that you might not have considered before, so you can make a genuine and good decision.
3. The Glimpse of the Price Tag
Sometimes you get so excited and overwhelmed about a dress that you completely forget to check if you can afford the dress. If you have set your budget aside and are paying for your dress and your mother sees the price tag and says “$4000 for a dress that you are only going to wear once!”, do not let that start an argument, make sure you keep quiet about your budget and not tell her or let her see the prices. If she is funding the dress, make sure that you two talk about the limit the dress should have, to avoid any unwanted scenarios.
4. Inappropriate Innuendos
Any comments and remarks that make you feel uncomfortable should certainly be avoided, especially innuendos like “with all those buttons and loops, it will take your husband all night to get that dress off of you”. That should be something solely between you and your significant other.
5. She’s Funding
You mother gladly funds your dress but it all takes a bitter turn when she says “I do not like it, so I will not pay for it”. She has full power and control of the purchase. Before heading to the boutique make sure you talk with your mother and the preconditions of the dress. If her “rules” bother you, your alternative is to buy the dress yourself.
6. Size Doe’s Matter
As mentioned in the introduction, your mother is your most honest and hardest critic, even if you did not ask her for her opinion. “That mermaid wedding dress would look perfect if you were thinner” is a common line that one could hear at their wedding dress fitting or any other time. Your mother might say that she is only trying to be “helpful”, but she is not, it only makes you feel bad about your shape and size. Thankfully bridal consultants are trained in this field and will suggest dresses that are flattering to your figure.
7. Filling in Gaps
Many dresses come with corsets that already have a pre-shaped form. You might feel that you do not have enough to fill in those gaps and have to hear a remark like “is that dress not meant for a bustier girl?” Again there are many ways to work around this, e.g. altering the corset, sewing in bra cups, using push up bras etc.