Every so often, the stress of coordinating the wedding details brings out the worst in even the most laid-back brides-to-be, making them demanding and obnoxious women who do not give a hoot about the people they hurt to get exactly what they want on their perfect day. We have all heard of these not-so-nice brides.
You may swear it will not happen to you, but sure enough, you will find yourself arguing fiercely with your fiancé about how your gorgeous A line wedding dress is not the right size or just generally ranting and raving, and being impossible to deal with on your big day. If you do not want to find yourself slipping into the all-too-familiar “bridezilla” syndrome, here are some tips that may come in handy.
1. Get back to basics
In the rush and frenzy of getting the wedding ready, you may really fail to keep sight of what your wedding is all about. You may get tangled up in a mountain of details and forget about the person you are getting married to. Get a hold of yourself. Try to take your thoughts away from your expanding to-do list, and shift your focus to the emotions that set this train in motion – the feelings you have for your fiancé and the “why are we doing this?”
Spend some quality time with each other and make sure that you only have non-wedding conversations throughout your pre-wedding date. When talking about your future, allow the exchange to go beyond the wedding day and into your life together as a married couple. It is a great way to nurture your relationship and remind you of why you are about to do this in the first place.
2. Turn the conversation around
When you broke the big news, you may have heard a barrage of “buffet or sit down?” and “what will your wedding gown look like?” And again, all of a sudden, all conversations seem to lead back to those surface details. If those around you start to get carried away with the planning details, it is only understandable that you will follow suit. Instead, steer conversations about your wedding towards the personal and emotional aspects, such as how you feel about getting married or how you expect your personal relationships may change.
3. Tame your list of details and expectations
Trim things back to fit in with your time frame, budget and emotional health. Get a grip again on what is truly important to you. Let some things go. Keep what is important close to your heart and allow yourself to make some mistakes.
4. Learn to delegate
Part of the reason brides-to-be are notorious for wedding-related antics is that so much of the event´s success rides on their shoulders. But with the expanse of planning that goes into a wedding, help is always a necessity! So, do not be reluctant to delegate the planning tasks to relieve some of your burdens. Your future husband is your safest bet; allocate some wedding planning responsibilities to him. Entrust small duties to immediate family members or your bridesmaids (key word is small – you do not want to turn former friends into bitter full-time wedding planners). And if that is still not enough, you can consider enlisting the help of a certified wedding coordinator.
5. Accept the myth of “perfection”
Be mindful of the fact that there is no such thing as a “perfect wedding.” Sure, you may have the perfect wedding gown in the form of that modest lace dress with sleeves you bought, but with so many details coming together, there are almost always hitches behind the scenes. What many brides do not realize is that these hitches almost always go unnoticed by wedding guests. Learn to accept that many factors are simply beyond your control and try to remind yourself that in the end, these uncontrollable details do not really mean anything.
So, you failed to bring it to mind and momentarily turned into a bridezilla. That is okay. Just give yourself a break here and let things go with the flow. If you and your fiancé are enjoying the day, your happiness will shine through everything else and make your big day even more wonderful.