Being asked to be a bridesmaid is an honor and kind of a big deal. But there is more to being a member of the bridal party besides walking down the aisle with one of the groomsmen and looking marvelous in your bridesmaid dress. Through exchanges with veteran bridesmaids and painstaking research with Professor Google, we have compiled this list of five unspoken rules of bridesmaid etiquette to help you intelligently maneuver through your role as a bridesmaid.
1. Do take initiative
It is the bride’s big day, but it is also going to be a nerve-wracking one. The bride will be stretched in every direction – having to find the perfect wedding gown, approve the color of the centerpiece, arranging the accommodation of relatives and visitors from out of town. The body can only take so much, so one of these days, the bride will feel that she is spreading herself too thin throughout the planning process. This is when you will need to step up.
When the wedding to-do list is all over the place, do not say, “Well! That can’t be good.” Make an effort to find tasks on the list you can perform effectively that call for minimum involvement of the bride, if not at all. For example, picking her wedding dress is surely going to necessitate her input. Stumbling upon the best deal on customized cocktail shakers for the wedding favors does not.
2. Do not say yes to everything
By saying yes to be a bridesmaid, you are signing up to help the bride with anything and everything she may need throughout the planning process and on the big day. But that does not mean you have to say yes to every single thing. Giving your approval to do anything will turn your perfectly reasonable best friend into an espresso demanding bridezilla. Only say yes to things you want to do. Make your target getting the job wrapped up rather than looking after everything yourself. You can have another member of the bridal party complete a task or split the responsibilities among family members.
3. Do make a schedule with your listed duties
Your schedules are going to be your BFFs throughout the entire wedding planning process. The more distant you are from the wedding ceremony, the more leeway you can give yourself. The more in close proximity you are to the wedding ceremony, the more on-target your schedule should be.
4. Be honest
This falls in line with not agreeing to do every single thing but deals more with emotional comfort than job execution. See, it can be a fine line between letting the bride do what she sets her heart on and stopping her from making a bad decision that will haunt her photo albums for years to come. If she is making a choice that you think she is making due to too much stress, ask her if that is what she really wants.
But just because you are being straightforward, does not mean you need to be brutal. Being honest in a helpful and kindly way is the key. For example, you can tell the bride that a specific decorative item does not quite go with the overall theme of the wedding instead of shouting: “Holy hell, it looks like a disaster in here!”
5. Do not step outside your comfort zone with the speech.
If you have terrible stage fright, a long speech with a dramatic rendition of your bond with the bride may not be the most suitable way to get to grips with your toast. If you are not comfortable delivering the speech, ask the bride if you can pen her a letter throwing light on how much you love her but hand over the “speaking” responsibilities onto a more eloquent bridesmaid or family member.
These are just some of the bridesmaid etiquette rules that you have to keep in mind. So once again, be that darling and embrace your bridesmaid role wholeheartedly, but remember not to get too stressed yourself.